How to Cope with Change Effectively

"The only constant in life is change."

                                                    -Heraclitus

Change is inevitable. Unexpected or not; huge or miniscule; change is always happening. Some people enjoy change. Some do not. Jobs disappear, major illnesses show up, family get-togethers change as families grow or suffer loss. Routines are forced to change for a myriad of reasons, and those of us not fond of change are left lamenting, "This is not the way it used to be."

There are many Biblical figures that had to cope with change, just as we do today. Nehemiah and Jonah both went from comfortable lives to do what God told them to do--and both were practically guaranteed persecution in doing so. Mary's life was changed when an angel appeared and told her she would give birth. Joseph's plans changed when he learned of her pregnancy and when an angel appeared to him to tell him to go forward with his marriage to Mary. Noah's life changed when he was told to build an ark...in a place that hadn't seen rain in a crazy amount of years. I'm sure there are plenty more examples, but I want to take a look at a change that begins with Abraham in Genesis 12 and is still happening with Moses, Joshua, and Caleb generations later in Numbers 13 and 14.

In Genesis 12, God asks Abraham to leave everything he knows for a promise. This was incredibly odd for a person in an agricultural community of the time to do. You found land, settled, and stayed. That's what was expected. You would think that Abraham would wrestle with this, right? I would. I imagine my response to God telling me to make a change this drastic would be something along these lines: "This is what I know; this is what's comfortable. I don't want to live in the unknown. Why??? Can't I stay here and receive the same promise?" 

Abraham trusts God and the promise he is given of abundance and prosperity, and moves. To an *unknown* destination! The only known Abraham had was God's promise. That's it! He left what he knew for an unknown location, with different relationships, different demographics, different everythings. Believing in God's promise enough to change any and everything we know; that is crazy and unparalleled trust.

This trust continues for generations and is still happening in Numbers 13 and 14. Moses has now led the people out of slavery in Egypt. God tells them to go explore Canaan, the Promised Land that he is giving to the Israelites. A spy is chosen from each tribe to go and see just what this Promised Land looks like. On their mission, they discover that this land is incredible. It is "flowing with milk and honey"; the land is fertile and the crops bountiful. All of the spies saw that this was indeed a Promised Land. Ten of the twelve spies focused on the fear and challenges taking this Promised Land appeared to have. Joshua and Caleb were the two that did not want to go back and spread false information out of fear. They wanted to focus on the good; the others were tied to focusing on the fact that the people were large and their cities were fortified. 

Because fear and the challenges were the focus of taking the Promised Land, many people decided it was too difficult. SO difficult that the people whined that they should have died back in Egypt or in the wilderness. They stated that they wanted to choose a new leader who would take them back to where they came from. Back to slavery. Let that sink in. They wanted to resist change SO badly they preferred death or slavery.

That's not what God wanted for them; that's not what God wants for us. Just like the Israelites, God wants to give us good stuff. He wants us to change. But what do we focus on? In most circumstances we need to let go and trust God. Not doing so is squelching everything God has given and wants to give us.

One good New Testament example of trusting God comes when Jesus asks fishermen to lay their nets down and become fishers of men. They could have chosen to stay as they were and continue their lives as fishermen. But they didn't. They chose to follow Jesus in the unknown. What happened? They became world-changers!

In these examples, some of these people dealt with change in unhealthy ways, and some in healthy ways. We can focus on the fear and challenges the next season may bring, or we can focus on God's promises. I'm going to focus on three healthy ways we can all use to cope with change. We can use PRAYER, PURPOSE, and PEOPLE to cope with changes in our lives.

PRAYER

Prayer is so many things. I think that's why some of us find it so hard to understand. Even to me, as an individual, prayer can be many different things. My prayers take different forms depending on my mood and/or my schedule. Sometimes I write words in a journal, and sometimes I just pray in my head. I spend time in prayer while I walk or drive or wait for kids. My favorite way to pray is to get a little bit artsy with my prayers in a mixed media sketchbook. Even with all these methods (and I'm sure there are more...), they all have something in common.

All prayer involves the intent to speak to and hear from God. Our entire attention should be focused on two-way communication with God. I fully believe God answers all prayer. However, it may not be on our timeline, nor is the answer always what we think we need. Yeah, I know. That's a rough one to take in!

Prayer is not a copy-and-paste activity. What works for me may not work for you. God has wired all of us uniquely, and we will all hear from him in different ways. If you aren't sure what works for you, keep trying different methods until something feels right. You will know when you've found your groove.

Please keep in mind that I'm barely scratching the depths of prayer here. SO much so, that I actually have a whole series on prayer in my blog notes. If all goes according to plan, it will end with a fun teaching consumable PDF I'll be sharing. 

PURPOSE

One of the heaviest questions I feel can be asked--at any stage in life--is "What's your purpose? Your calling?" Gah! I think it's a hard question because we don't always have a rock-solid answer. I feel that purpose, or a calling, is somewhat fluid. I don't think there is one and only one exact/perfect/right answer for everybody.

Personally, I've felt called to be different things at different points in my life. When my kids were tiny humans, I felt that my purpose was to be at home with them. Now that my kids range from being a college freshman to being days away from becoming a teenager, my kids don't need me the same way. When I was battling colon cancer, my purpose was to fight that beast and stay alive. Now, I'm back to not being real sure of my purpose at this life stage. It's a work in progress that I'm finally making time to revisit.

How? I'm working on my passions; the things I would do if I was guaranteed not to fail. Writing this little blog and sharing is me once again stepping out of my comfort zone to see if it's something I can use to glorify God and his goodness. You can do the same. Take time to step away from your everyday life. Work with God through prayer to define your purpose. Revisit this process as often as necessary; it's not a one-and-done type deal for most of us. 

PEOPLE

My last surefire way to cope with change effectively is to find your people and keep. them. close. People are some of God's greatest resources! People are in and around our lives for a reason. There are tons of different ways to find people. However, there are some types of people you should put some extra effort toward finding.

The people we surround ourselves with should be great influences on us. These should be people that want to see us follow after Jesus; that want to encourage us; that want to hold us accountable; that want to keep us from going back to where we came from. They should be like Aaron and Hur were to Moses, willing to hold our arms up when we just can't hold them up ourselves anymore. The people we surround ourselves with need to be people that are willing to walk through our lives with us, no matter the crazy changes and challenges thrown our way. 

Changes in our lives are not always (or ever) easy, but God can be trusted. He is god, and he is a waiting God that is not forceful. He is calling you to a promised land. Entering your promised land will most likely require uncomfortable change and some challenges to overcome. Be willing to let him walk you through the hard changes by spending time in prayer, defining your purpose (and aligning your life to it), and by using the people God has placed in your life. 

How do you cope with change in your life? Do you need to make any adjustments?